From Zero to "I Do" in One Glittering Hour.
Herbert the Hedgehog was having an existential crisis beneath a sparkling disco ball. It was the annual Woodland New Year's Eve Ball, and while the other animals—the graceful deer, the twirling mice, the tangoing badgers—floated across the floor, Herbert just rolled a little, hoping no one would ask him to dance. His quills, he felt, were a severe structural impediment to ballroom fun.
"Oh dear," he mumbled, watching a fox nearly trip over his attempt at a waltz. "This is a disaster."
Just then, a small, cheerful voice squeaked, "Disaster? Nonsense! You just need a partner who understands the art of the slow pivot."
Herbert looked up to see a petite hedgehog named Penelope. Her quills were perfectly arranged, and she held a tiny, decorative turnip cocktail.
"My name's Penelope," she chirped. "I find that if you lean back slightly and let your partner lead by not touching your back, it works marvellously."
Herbert's heart did a dizzying, triple-axle spin. He spent the next hour clumsily pivoting with Penelope, discovering that true love wasn't about smooth steps, but about finding someone who appreciated the architectural challenge of your body.
As the clock chimed midnight, signalling the start of New Year's Day, Herbert looked at Penelope, the disco ball casting a celestial sparkle on her nose.
"Penelope," he declared, tripping over his own foot but recovering quickly, "I love you. Will you marry me right now, before the conga line starts up again?"
"Oh, Herbert!" she exclaimed, her nose twitching with delight. "Yes! But only if we can use this disco ball as our official witness."
A sleepy Owl Justice of the Peace, who was only there for the free cheese platter, was quickly located. Thirty seconds and a blur of "I do's" later, Herbert and Penelope were officially Mr. and Mrs. Hedgehog. They shared a celebratory sip of turnip cocktail just as the squirrels cranked up the polka music, ready to begin their happily ever after right where it all began: beneath the glittering chaos of the New Year's Day dance floor.
The end.
